Wimp to Spartan Transformation: Heavy Things and Socks

Spartan Crossfit Wimp to Spartan 4 from Peter Murphy on Vimeo.

This video makes me smile.  I’m proud of this one.  Well, I didn’t film it or edit it, but I’m excited about the content.  Aside from another horrendous choice in wardrobe, for which I feel I’ll be remembered, I did some pretty kick ass things!

To start, I would like to point out that Murph decided to zoom in on the tire dust on my neck.  It’s an artistic choice.  I’ve finally realized how many Michelin Man-lines I have on my neck.  Awesome.

But onto more important topics.  I flipped a tire!  That makes me awesome and intimidating… right?  So in the sweltering heat of the city, made worse by all the sweaty bodies in CFSB and my disastrous commute, I flipped a tire.  I may have cursed…Sorry MomScan, but I did it, and it has become my confessional throne: a seat of honor, if you will.

After the tire came Pull-ups.  The day I have to part with those rubber band assists, is the day I weep for hours, fall down on the ground, and kick and scream random words.  I find the giant rubber bands so entertaining, it’s ridiculous.  The pull-up reps were exhausting enough that when Shane told me that I was going to climb rope, I’m sure I scowled.  I learned the proper technique, and did it almost immediately.  That’s another point for MScan!  What really sticks with me from that day, though, is when people in the gym stopped what they were doing to watch me climb and to cheer for me.  I know I’ve been around them for awhile, but at the time, I didn’t know any of their names.  We’d never been formally introduced, and yet they became the support I needed to get to that blue line.  It makes me smile every time I think about it.  But anyway, what people don’t tell you about this rope is that you get pretty close and personal with it.  In order to climb it, I had to accept that I was basically in a relationship with this rope.  Sorry Shoulders.  Though I should not have been surprised by the injuries I sustained during this exercise, I could not help but notice that a) I got rope burn in strange places, b) I got rope burn THROUGH those gnarly socks, and c) there was no wedgie dancing involved in this exercise at all!  I still don’t know how I feel about that last one.

I would like to thank Murph however for speeding up the process.  It took FOREVER for me to reach that blue line.

So, as I say in the video, the workout was great.  Not the most challenging thing I’ve ever done in a gym, but certainly the most rewarding.  The most difficult part, however, was mental.  I hate feet.  I loathe them.  I pretend that I don’t have them.  When I see people playing footsy at a restaurant, I lose my appetite.  When I absolutely must get pedicures for an event or formal occasion, I apologize profusely to the pedicurist.  When people threaten me with their feet, I throw punches.  If I were a super hero with a ton of awesome powers, a giant foot chasing me around the city would cripple me.  I could go on, but I’m sure you get the idea.  I do maintain, however, that men’s feet are way worse.  I don’t mind sharing clean socks with my women roommates or close girl friends.  They’re clean; it’s ok, but I almost die inside when I think of men’s dirty sock.  Because men are men, I never believe them.  Shane assured me that his socks were clean, but I died a little on the inside anyway when I had to wear them.  I even kept my own socks on underneath in order to maintain a protective barrier.  I muscled through it with all the mental strength I could muster, and came out the other side of that workout a stronger chick…who still hates feet.