Wimp to Spartan Transformation: Lacrosse ball torture is real

Spartan Crossfit Wimp to Spartan 9 from Peter Murphy on Vimeo.

In preparation for the Beast, Shane lead me in some stretching out exercises, and handstand training.  I must however clarify what I mean by “stretching out.”  I don’t mean the figure-4 stretch, or stretching out my calves.  I mean using a very simple Lacrosse ball to “really get in there and massage those muscles.”  Yes, Shane said that, and yes, it was as creepy as one might think. 

We started with my feet.  I know I have discussed how I feel about feet on this blog before, but let me remind you.  I hate them so much that I pretend I don’t have them.  I don’t really know if I have a fear of them or if I’m simply repulsed by them.  I’m also convinced that my love of shoes stems from my need to hide my own feet from my eyes.  Shane also knew about my relationship with feet, and insisted that I start by punishing them with the lacrosse ball.  I’d like to add that after doing so, the same ball that did the hanky-panky with my foot was used on other muscle groups.  Repulsive.

Wimp to Spartan Transformation: First I robbed the Easter Bunny and then I worked out.

Spartan Crossfit Wimp to Spartan 8 from Peter Murphy on Vimeo.

So after having done Fight Gone Bad on Friday, I needed a walker on Saturday and Sunday.  I also had heartburn all weekend.  (Fight Gone Bad will age you from the inside out, apparently.)  Come Monday, I was still sore, but the heartburn had subsided, and I no longer needed to grab onto things and grunt to get out of my seat.  This pleased me.  When I had to go back to CFSB, I thought Shane might show a little mercy, seeing as how I was brave enough to venture out of my apartment without the walker (complete with tennis balls on the back two legs).  When I got the gym and saw my workout, I thought he would yield for one day and let me recover.  The workout itself didn’t look too hard.  WRONG!  It turns out that he did not, in fact, show any mercy, and he is a devious, giant trainer.

Wimp to Spartan Transformation: Fight Gone Bad

Spartan Crossfit Wimp to Spartan 7 from Peter Murphy on Vimeo.

I love to be really tough on myself. There are days when I feel like if I’m not drowning in my own blood, sweat and tears, I didn’t do enough.  This is probably not the healthiest attitude towards working out, but I can’t shake it.  Don’t get me wrong though, I hate these workouts while I do them.  My body hates me and I hate my body; there’s a lot of hate.  The love comes after the workout when I feel like an indestructible, magical being from crossfit land.  So when Katy McCabe suggested on Spartan Radio that Shane make me do Fight Gone Bad, I thought it sounded like the kind of punishment to which I’d so cheerfully subject myself.  I’m all for being challenged to the point of nausea, but this redefined “workout” for me.  This seemed like its own condensed Spartan Race.  (Shane does a great job of explaining it in the video for any non-crossfitters who’d like to attempt it.)  I can honestly say that Fight Gone Bad got me the closest to projectile vomiting I’ve been since I was an infant.  Let me break it down for you.

Wimp to Spartan Transformation: If Steve Urkle and crossfit had a baby, that baby would be me.

Spartan Crossfit Wimp to Spartan 6 from Peter Murphy on Vimeo.

My Shane-name today was MScanglorious (MomScan says, “Bill O’Reilly eat your heart out”). Fitting considering my day was basically an epic life-fail. But I’ll take it.

Waking up in the morning has always been a challenge for me. I have to set my alarm clock to an hour before I actually have to get out of bed. This is a very bad habit that I picked up from a roommate. I recognize that, but I can’t stop. Well, last night I decided to break the cycle. I set my alarm clock for when I REALLY needed to be out of bed. This morning, I felt the effects. FORTY-FIVE MINUTES LATE I arose from my bed in a panic, hating myself for trying to better myself. I threw the only clean gym clothes I could find into a bag, donned some unremarkable office attire and flew like the wind out of my front door.

Wimp to Spartan Transformation: MScan’tbelieveit’snotbutter

Spartan Crossfit Wimp to Spartan 5 from Peter Murphy on Vimeo.

Apparently, I have found an adequate training partner in a plastic dead guy, whom I’ve named Bones.  I like him: a man of few words.  He also is great for my self-confidence because he lets me win every time. 

Now that I’m doing crossfit three times a week in addition to my marathon training, I have to say that I’m definitely noticing a difference in my body and how I feel.  Also, I’m beginning to see the difference in these videos.  That feeling of strength and accomplishment that I get after workouts is addictive.  I love when Shane increases the weight.  I get to notice how far I’ve come in such a short while.  I find that I’m getting more drive from seeing and feeling the results. 

I have, however, found myself falling into some unhealthy traps, I think.  I must admit to you now that I’m an instant gratification kind of chick when it comes to diet and exercise.  When I start a new regimen, I find it impossible to stick with every time, because I don’t notice results immediately.  I’ve spoken to friends about this.  I’m not alone, but it’s still a frustrating reality. 

Wimp to Spartan Transformation: Heavy Things and Socks

Spartan Crossfit Wimp to Spartan 4 from Peter Murphy on Vimeo.

This video makes me smile.  I’m proud of this one.  Well, I didn’t film it or edit it, but I’m excited about the content.  Aside from another horrendous choice in wardrobe, for which I feel I’ll be remembered, I did some pretty kick ass things!

To start, I would like to point out that Murph decided to zoom in on the tire dust on my neck.  It’s an artistic choice.  I’ve finally realized how many Michelin Man-lines I have on my neck.  Awesome.

But onto more important topics.  I flipped a tire!  That makes me awesome and intimidating… right?  So in the sweltering heat of the city, made worse by all the sweaty bodies in CFSB and my disastrous commute, I flipped a tire.  I may have cursed…Sorry MomScan, but I did it, and it has become my confessional throne: a seat of honor, if you will.

Wimp to Spartan Transformation: Even Dogs can Judge

Spartan Crossfit Wimp to Spartan 3 from Peter Murphy on Vimeo.

My day at Crossfit South Brooklyn started with a stare-off. I walked into the gym, and there before me was this creature challenging me to a duel of wit. Murph turned the camera on, and it was time for my preshow nonsense, but the fire of competition raged in my gut. Eventually, I couldn’t ignore the beady little eyes laying into me.

I looked over to see the least amused dog I’d ever seen. I started talking to the judgmental, little terrorist and IT YAWNED AT ME! He yawned as if to say “you think you’re so clever, but you’re actually just a bore who’s in dire need of a haircut.” In my mind, this Dog speaks English with a British accent. As if my day at the office and my horrendous New York City commute weren’t bad enough, this dog had to add insult to injury by basically telling me that I’m not funny. It hurt my feelings, so as all actresses would do, I used it. I channeled that feelings and made the single ugliest face I’ve ever made on camera or in life. I really wish Murph would consult me when editing these videos.

As an aside, Shane has discovered the wonders of a dictionary, but not to acquire an impressive vocabulary, no no no. His purpose for consulting the dictionary is to turn my already silly nickname, MScan, into something absolutely ridiculous. This day it was MScullduggery.

Wimp to Spartan Transformation: LIKE OMG I CAN’T MOVE

Spartan Crossfit Wimp to Spartan 2 from Peter Murphy on Vimeo.

So this week, I decided to a) not blowdry my hair—good decision on my part and b) pretend like I was a TV host and pose a question to the audience. Now that THAT is done, and I’m regretting that flimsy spark of genius, I’d like someone to please validate me by picking a name for that wall: Real-World wall, realer than Real-World wall, realest world wall or more real than real-world wall. This wall is where we talk about my feelings before and after each work out (unless it’s raining), and where at the end of this episode, I try to make fun of Real World, but totally fail and just come off like a dope.

The warm-up workout consisted of pull-ups, lunges and running. Shane showed off doing pull-ups, and then tied me to the pull-up bar with the single largest office supply I’ve ever seen. I loved the thick green rubber band, because it enabled me to do pull-ups, which maked me feel, in a small way, herculean. Also, can we take a moment and envision the hilariousness of the body rubber band gun?

Wimp to Spartan Transformation: The Quest for One Solid Push-up

Awhile back, after the 2011 Vancouver Spartan Sprint, I had the great fortune of speaking with Vancouver’s own Mandy Gill. She mentioned that she ran the sprint as a part of a team consisting of athletes from her crossfit gym. This was the second time I’d ever heard of crossfit. I thought to myself, “O goody, research.” As we continued chatting, the conversation became less about the Sprint and more about being a woman athlete and inspiring women to explore those sides of themselves. Also, we discovered that we had oodles in common like we’re both consistently five minutes late for everything, and we like mud.

Earlier that month, I had suggested to Carrie Adams an extension to the WOD 30 Day challenge, in which I’d do a Spartan Makeover: The Wimp to Spartan Transformation. When I went home to research crossfit for my Mandy Gill post, I determined that “Wimp to Spartan” meant a crossfit transformation. Upon researching further, I became intimidated with the exercises and all the crossfit models’ game faces. While second-guessing myself, I looked down at my note pad with my interview notes and saw “If you have any doubt, just do it. You’ll be surprised. Overcome that doubt!” Mandy had spoken directly to me from my legal pad.

A couple of weeks later, I found myself traveling to Crossfit South Brooklyn to start my training for the Wimp to Spartan Transformation in which I’d train to be a competitive force at the Staten Island Super Spartan on September 25th. CFSBK’s brochure states, “Crossfit South Brooklyn is a non-traditional gym dedicated to the celebration of physical culture and developing community through fitness.” I thought that was a positive message. The nervousness eased, and I mistakenly considered myself prepared.

Spartan Radio and the Virginia Race Report

by Maurya Scanlon

My family lives in Virginia. (How convenient) Going to this race was like a homecoming of epic proportions. I kid you not, folks. Add my excitement over running another Spartan Race with getting good daughter points for visiting my parents on Father’s Day Weekend, and that equals the happiest MScan ever in the world. And a very happy DadScan. We talk about the VA race and new champion Quentin Leadbeter on our most recent Spartan Radio Broadcast! Check it out! (It’s available on iTunes too… search Spartan Radio) We also talk Toronto, Death Race, and random humor courtesy of Shawty, Jim and me.

Love Letter to New York: Tuxedo Spartan Sprint Recap

by Maurya Scanlon

I am now officially a Spartan.

I’ve spent so much time tweeting about Spartan Race and promoting the race, that I figured I should run one and actually join Spartan Nation. Going into it I knew what to expect, because of my relationship and affiliation with the company. I knew the obstacles that Spartan Race is famous for, and I knew that Hobie Call would absolutely cream the competition (which he did). What I did NOT know however, is that Spartan Race adapts itself very well to the different venues. The course was designed to use the landscape in the best way possible to clobber the racers. I’ll show you pictures of my knees to prove it. Seriously, it’s gross.

There was no easing into this monster race. It began with the steepest hill known to mankind (or so I thought at the time). To put it in perspective, we were running UP a ski slope.

I said to myself “MScan, take it easy, you’ve got a ways to go after you climb this hill.” A light jog did the trick. I got through the first couple of obstacles, over-under-through walls, monkey bars, etc. with a little difficulty but I was enjoying every minute of it. Then it appeared in front of me…. the eight foot wall. We were expected to hoist ourselves over this behemoth wall with only one foothold maybe three feet off the ground to help. I’m 5’3 ½” on a good day. It took two people and one near-death experience to get me over that wall, but I did it and then I took off running to catch the big, muscley men who beat me through the obstacle.